Ruminate

Friday, April 25, 2008 - She is gone... Only managed to catch her once.

When I am all alone, I tends to think to myself a lot. Looking at people from all walks of life, observing their behaviours and analysing them (also looking out for fashion senses). I have not much people that I can talk to, as I only have 1 real friend. People coming in and out of my life are all colleagues and acquaintances. I can be at some places where I am being greeted by many or greeting many, but they only play a small part of my life when I am in different venues and occasions.

What is the purpose of life? Have any of you ever think about it...?

Everything is so routine... People goes to school, goes to work then back home and pay their bills. Get married, have kids, grow old and die... I guess most people are trying their best to earn more money. It's a material world. Other than all these material stuffs, does anybody out there really think about what is their aim in life? Everybody comes into this world with a purpose. What's yours? I have no idea about mine..

I see happy people, photos and pictures. I envy the joy they have among their friends. I have lost it long ago. Why do I feel so alone? I am lacking of something. I don't feel complete. I don't want to be a normal being. I don't want to be typical.

I have seen too much and done so much, yet somebody asked me that day why am I so pessimistic? (Because I was condemning so much about the people around me) When I heard that I was like, huh? Haha. I am way too optimistic to be labelled that way. If I am that narrow minded, I would have ended my life long ago when I was in the lowest point of my life. Typical Singaporeans are so much like a "frog in a well". As they only see that small circle of sky when they look up of the well, whereas the sky is actually so much bigger then they could have imagine. I really pity the people of the society now. You can't really blame them as that is the way they are being brought up. Unless they choose to think otherwise and don't end up following the path into the typical group of people...

all gone, just like that... 2:31 PM

Under The Moonlight

I'll wait here to play you a song tonight
You'll be under the pale moonlight
With me, my love
I need you to show me your loving way
Like a flower in the rain
So soft and all alone

Feel your touch
See your smile
But I can't find

Hear your voice
Taste your lips
You know I want to
Think of you
Only you
You're on my mind

I'll wait here to play you a song tonight

Feel your touch
See your smile
But I can't find
Think of you
Only you
You're on my mind

I need you to show me your loving way
Like a flower in the rain
So soft and all alone

I'll wait here to play you a song tonight
You'll be under the pale
under the pale
under the pale moonlight...

all gone, just like that... 2:07 PM

It's Over


2 weeks of fun is over. Too much partying. Too much lives getting wasted. Time to get focus. I need to get back on track... On top of all these, there is something that is still lingering on my mind.

all gone, just like that... 7:21 PM

Good Old Days...

Singapore's Skyline view at 165 metres

Since we are both back in SG for only a short time, we decided to feast ourselves on the local food. I have been wanting to eat at a marketplace or coffee shop rather than those restaurants, same thoughts for Denise. We had Fried Hokkien Prawn Noodle, Wu Xiang & Bee Hoon, Fishball Noodle & Soya Bean Milk over at the Boon Lay Market place. Awesome. We took a bus to Jurong Point Shopping Center. We both were like kind of lost with those bus numbers and we were laughing over it. It's been so long since I ever got on a bus and seeing those school students on the bus, reminds us of the past when we were once like them...

Looking blue inside the capsule of the Singapore Flyer

The structure of the world's largest Giant Observation Wheel

From there we went Wistma Atrium, Takashimaya, Marina Square, Suntec City, Singapore Flyer, Vivo City then St. James Power Station.

Luckily I am not so much of a nerd to SG, if not we both would have got lost for many times. For a few times she got mixed up with places that we wanna go. There are many changes if you have looked carefully, places and people. The whole island is like a tourist attraction now, there are hardly any locals wherever you go. Of the few locals that we spoke to, like those taxi drivers & salesman agrees to that too and told us to stay away from SG (younger Singaporeans are leaving for better job opportunities & studies and getting other citizenship's so as not to deal with the issues here) as the living situation is a crap now. Well, I shall see how bad can it be as every time I called back from the States my mum will be complaining to me about it too. Whenever we hear people talking about rather then to stay in Australia & America, we will give each other a look and laugh because we are each from the countries that they are talking about. It's funny and also an irony when we think about it.

We had dinner over at Vivo City's Food Republic. Bah Chor Mee & Laksa were served on our table. The Laksa is a turn off, but luckily the Bah Chor Mee compensates it. After which, we went Dragonfly because I still have a balance of 3.0L of Martell left from last week. And we got Kendi (did I spelled it right?), long lost friend of me & Ice, to drink with us too. He looks so different, not as "bengster" anymore. We had our fun. It's all my fault when I gave Denise the 2 options of either finishing the bottle and leave or hanging around till 5.00am when they close... So I guess she chose the first option. Yes I know she can drink, she drinks until my friends were shunning away from her whenever she holds her glass up. Haha. But somehow towards the end of the night, she got drunk. This is the second time I see her drunk. She feels like vomiting but no matter how we tried, we couldn't get her to. Even upon reaching downstairs of her place she still won't, but she just keeps having the feel of it coming. I spent a couple of hours with her trying to coax her up to rest. I am sorry. I should have stopped her from drinking that much. She still looks as sweet when she is drunk. My silly girl...

Don't know why after so long she still feels special to me. She is the only girl that gives me that kind of feeling. I was kind of disappointed when she says that she is tired of relationship now. Who knows, when she is not tired of it anymore I might not be around by her side already...

all gone, just like that... 7:06 AM

Flying High

I am kind of losing track of days. For a few nights, I haven't been sleeping at home, haven't been back home till at least the sun is up for the next day... It's difficult trying to recall when, where & what I was doing just 2 days ago.

Let's see... Last Thursday, I stayed at home. Friday, I was supposed to meet Kate after her work, but she ended up "flying me a plane to Holland" as she was doing something with her sister. And as I was walking along Orchard Road, just in front of the Takashimaya Shopping Centre, I got approached by this guy named Izuan from Create Talents Pte Ltd., asking me to be a free-lance model for their company. I am skeptical about these kind of things but I just gave him my name & cellphone number and took his name card anyway. I was thinking to myself, his eyes must have been stamped when approaching me for the job. Lolz. They called up today and arranged an appointment for me to meet up with them tomorrow. *shrugs* I shall go take a peek and see what's cooking over there. Nothing much on Friday actually, after which I met up with Ice again for our clubbing session over at 97. Thumbs down. Because the band sucks. Most of the time I can't understand what they are singing. The dance music the DJ plays sucks too. He only have got 2 CDs. He kept playing songs by Cascada and Groove Coverage, alternatively one after another. With just only 2 CDs to mingle with, he acts damn busy behind the DJ console, meddling with those equipments. Freaking stupid look, even a moron knows he is acting busy. Duhz.



Saturday, it's my cousin, Wan Ru's 21 year old birthday! Most of my cousins were there, less Connie who was ill. We had a little sort of Hi-tea session going on at her place. It's good to see my relatives after such a long time moreover I haven't been around for 2 consecutive Chinese New Year already. I met Kate & her sister for dinner at Ah Wok Restaurant, St. James Power Station. After dinner, we went Dragonfly-ing again. Super crowded. Wan Ru & Shi Long joined me there. I got to say sorry to them, for my poor hospitality. I got them into the club without queueing and drinking at my expenses but didn't really spent much time with them. I am surprised to see so much friends in there. Just to walk to the smoking lounge takes me about 20 minutes as I keep getting stopped at a few tables for drinks from my long lost friends. *phew* Guess who I saw? Mo Xiao Ling was beside our table. She is funny. That's the first time I see her in person. She looks fairer. She is quite a regular over there, also a friend of HT. She was with her bunch of girlfriends and she introduced a few of her girlfriends to me. A bunch of fun loving girls.


Kate and her sister went missing for 5 hours. Something wrong happened between the sisters, sort of complicated. I caught her boarding a taxi outside alone, managed to hold the taxi. She cried on my shoulders when I got into the taxi, sitting beside her. Spent another morning with her until she feels better. Why does all these keep happening to me? If those ladies out there had met those heartless bastards, I'm sure they would took advantage of the situation. I don't know. It's difficult for me to see somebody in lurch and leave them to die by themselves. But good guys die early & bad guys gets the best of everything. I hate myself...

all gone, just like that... 11:03 PM

Land of the Uglies

all gone, just like that... 2:32 PM