Hear No Evil

Just managed to called back home to speak to mum. Seems like there are tonnes of problems happening back home. It's a series of problems, a chain reaction effect. From one leads to another. She always tells me what is going on around the family, updating me everything, complaining to me on some stuff and etc. Always ended up I don't have the opportunity to speak about myself here in the states. Maybe I am a born listener. I am a good listener in fact. I have many coming to me to tell me stuffs, secrets or problems. I am absorbing so many daily. I think to myself, sometimes I just wish to vent myself off but there is nobody there... Everybody is inputting me for solutions or advice. No soul mate or anybody to hear my words. And even just now at the phone call, when I was about to bring out my problems to my mum, speaking halfway, her hand phone went flat... Duhz...

To think about it, I miss my one and only buddy, Ice. We always hang out, we go everywhere anyhow. Talk about everything anytime. He is my listener (although he talks most of the time), no doubt he will be there to get me away from the confusions I had in my mind. By the way, we are not gay, he is just my friend since 12 years ago. I guess only he knows me best since only he listens to me...

I am wearing a mask everyday. People sees me doing good all the time, at work, in life, drives a nice car, getting recognition & achievements, telling me that I am doing well but deep down I am putting up with alot of things in life. I don't know or forgot how to express my feelings now. I feel numb...

all gone, just like that... 9:03 PM